Spanish? Polish? English?

Wednesday was a great day.  I had to fly out Wednesday evening for a quick 1 day business trip, so Zak and I made the most of it in preparation for not seeing each other for the next 2 nights.

We had a lot of errands to run in the morning, but we chit chatted as we went.  He told me that he slept well, but had silly dreams.  I was intrigued, because he's never told me about his dreams before.  He said he dreamt about letter Zs turning into letter Ns, and started laughing..."Isn't that silly?"

I also asked him about his school day the day before, and he told me they had a fire drill...which was pretty fun because we had had a fire drill at work too, which of course I told him.  So then he proceeded to ask me all the details and how it related to his...did we have to walk out single file?  Did we have to hold hands?  Was the alarm going?  Did the fire truck come?  And two police cars?

One of our errands was to go buy 2 children's digital cameras for Rowan and Ethan's Christmas gifts (yes, I'm already shopping for Christmas...but I saw them on a great sale at CVS of all places, so wanted to get them before they were out)...well Zak wanted one too.  I reminded him he already had one, and he reminded me that the batteries keep running out.  Right!  So I told him that we'd check it out when we got home, and see if I could fix it.  He did have 10 stars, so I told him he could pick another toy.  It's so interesting to watch him look through the shelves.  He'll pick up something big, and then say, "No, that's probably too expensive."  Then pick up something else and go through the same thing.  Sometimes, he'll ask "Is this too expensive?"  So he has some concept of knowing 10 stars is worth something, but not everything...and generally he has me about right, he asks at about the $10-$15 mark.  In the end, he decided not to get a toy that time out, and wanted to wait and see if he needed his stars to buy a new camera.  Turns out, I thought the camera had rechargeable batteries and kept plugging it into the computer thinking I was charging the stupid thing...so all I had to do was actually replace the batteries...  Anyway, he was extremely happy to have his working camera again, and started having me pose for him.  "Look this way please.  Ok.  Smile please.  Say cheese please."

Which leads me to our wonderful afternoon at the park.  We spent a good hour or more hanging out at the park, enjoying the beautiful fall.  There is a little creek there, and we sat cross-legged on a little concrete bridge and threw sticks into it.  I got some pictures, and whenever I asked him to say cheese, he said "Formaggio!"  Something he picked up in Italy :-)  I thought he had forgotten about that.  He also found "an interesting stick that looked like a Y," which made me smile that he presented it that way.  I thought I'd share with him the wishbone concept...so I explained how he should make a wish, then we'd both pull and whoever got the bigger side's wish would come true.  So we did it and he got the bigger side.  "What did you wish for Zak?"  "Oh.  I wished for the bigger side."  Guess it worked out. :-)

Telling Stories

Searching for sticks

Making our wishes

After the park, I started reminding him that I'd be leaving for the evening and he'd stay with Tato.  He told me he really wanted to invite someone over to play with him.  He proceeded to think of who he should invite, and said "Hmm...I'd like to invite.....someone that begins with the letter E....is there anyone that begins with E that we can invite?....Hmm....I know!  Ethan and Logan!"  It was so cute how he thought he was leading me on this little journey of who to invite....also cute that he thinks of Ethan and Logan as a pair that comes together...beginning with E :-)

Last thing I wanted to share today is actually about our evening ritual the last couple of nights.  Kuba and I typically will go up with Zak to his room, and I'll read to them 3 books.  This week, we started adding a Polish book that Kuba reads.  After the first couple of pages, Zak asked Tato to quit reading in Spanish and please read in English.  Of course we corrected him and moved on.  At some point he pointed to something and asked what it was...we answered in Polish...he said "No, quit saying it in Spanish!  What is it in English?"  I'm assuming this is from the fact that at school they teach a Spanish class.  Anyway, it's fun to see him learn about different countries and languages.  Yesterday we told him that Mattie lives in Poland, like Babcia...and his first question was "Do they live together?"  So we got out the map and showed him.

It's been really hard to manage work lately in the 3 days...we have lots of people coming into town the next 2 weeks, with almost every night packed with business dinners.  I already know I'll work at least 4 days each of the next 2 weeks, and probably should do 5 if I really plan to keep up.  Unfortunately I couldn't get the HR paperwork done in time to up it officially to 4 days until November, so I'll just have to manage it. It's actually affecting my personal time more than anything, because it means if I'm not at work, I want to spend as much as possible with Zak after work, which means my tennis specifically then suffers.  It's been nice with the 3 days, because I never felt guilty on Wed or Fri leaving Zak with a babysitter while I played some tennis since we got to spend the days together.  I hate the thought of picking him up from one day care, and then dropping him at another so Kuba and I can play....and besides that, I just really want to spend time with Zak as well.  Such is life :-)  We'll manage it, even if it means I don't get to be the tennis super star I want to be!  :-P

Friday was also a great day, but more about that in my next blog!

A very good Friday

We made up for the mediocre day on Wednesday with an awesome day on Friday.  I started off feeling a little sluggish still, but got better as the day went on.  We got up and had breakfast with Tato and were all chatting about what birthday gift we should get for our nephew, Logan.  Zak wanted to get him some cars or trains, and was listing off all the possibilities.  Tato asked that, if we were shopping, could we also get a toy for him.  Zak thought for a second and said, "Well, you have to be good first Tato.  Let's see how your day goes."  Surprised us both :-)

Zak and I headed up to Toys R Us, and for some strange reason they open up at 9:00 on every weekday, except Fridays...where they don't open until 9:30.  It gave us a good excuse to head over to Graeters and have a muffin.  We then headed back over to Toys R Us and spent an hour searching, selecting and reselecting something for Logan...and something for Zak too :-)

On the way home, Zak asked if we could go out for lunch somewhere, and wanted to invite Aunt Katie.  He said he wanted a cheese coney, so we called up Aunt Katie, who unfortunately (or fortunately), doesn't like Skyline....it was cute because then Zak thought for a minute, and said, "Hmm, does Aunt Katie like McDonald's?"...and Aunt Katie, who was on speaker phone, said "Sure, she likes McDonald's."  So we picked up Katie, went to McDonald's, where Zak proceeded to play on the playground, while Katie and I watched from the window (it was too cold for us)...and he didn't eat even one bite of his lunch.

We came home and Zak asked me to play "Garbage Trucks" with him.  So for 30 minutes I laid out legos as if they were trash across the room, and he had the garbage truck come by and load them up to take to the dump.

Then, we laid down for a nap...perfect day for it.  I fell asleep for 30 minutes, then got up and rearranged his toys a bit.  He asked that his "car garage" be brought downstairs, so we moved all his other toys upstairs to make room for it.  I also put a bunch out to give to goodwill.  When he woke up, he surprisingly wanted to do some school work.  I had bought him this Thomas the Train workbook, and we spent about 45 minutes doing the different exercises.  The math pieces he's great at...he still doesn't like to write much though.  So he always wants me to help guide his hand when he writes the numbers or letters.     I'm sure he'll get it :-)  By the way, we've also been doing homework for his school.  So far, so good.  They've been pretty easy so far.  The last one was circle everything that begins with an F, and put an X through everything that doesn't.  He did that very easily, although I can see a clear difference between his attitude and mine on it.  He kind of sloppily puts a circle on it, can even be directly on the picture, not around it.  I notice the girls in his class try to be very precise with their circles (me too).  Should I care?  The best part though was the 2nd part of the homework, where he had to guess a riddle (answer Firetruck), and then draw it.  He got very excited about that...first drew a little boy, then a house around the boy, then fire in the house, then the fire truck (and police car) coming to rescue them.  He was very deliberate about what he wanted to draw and how.  He surprised me :-)

Anyway, it was a nice day after the rather mediocre day on Wednesday and the rather stressful day at work on Thursday.

The Post Vacation Catch Up Mode

And so we just finished 2 weeks with our dear friends from Poland, Darek, Beata and Mattie.  So much fun, and Zak changed so much.

First of all, he's getting much better at expressing his feelings...but he does get mad.  I don't even remember what he was mad at me for, but right before Darek and Beata came, he was so frustrated with me for something.  I saw him walking around my bedroom fuming.  Finally, he took a wedding picture of Kuba and I, and put it in the bathroom.  He said he was so mad, he didn't want to see our picture right then. 

On my day off, we took them all to Glenwood Commons.  I like that park, but it's impossible for me to get Zak away from the trains they have there.  Mattie was not so interested in the trains, so I forced Zak to explore a bit more the rest of the park.  He again got very frustrated with me, and told me to sit right down and explain to him what I wanted from him and why.  He then proceeded to sit cross-legged on the ground and waited for me to sit down across from him and talk to him.  I assume this is something they do at school because I certainly didn't teach it to him.  It did work though, I sat down, explained that Mattie wanted to see more of the park, and he said, "OK, 5 minutes.  Then we go back to the trains."  I think I was too shocked to argue.

On the flip side, he'll just come up to me sometimes and say things like "I just love you so much."  Or yesterday, Kuba went out to the backyard in the morning to check on something, and Zak hollered out "Tato!  It's a little coldish out there...you might want to put on a jacket!"  He was very serious.  

Work wise I've decided to go back to 4 days a week.  There was definitely an interesting discussion with my manager about what are my ambitions here, do I want to continue further up the ladder, time is ticking by, etc.    I still need to internalize some of the discussion.  I think he was very happy I decided to return to 4 days.  Funny thing is, no discussion on the work load, because I had already let it grow too much for 3 days, and we both knew it.  I think going from 3 days to 4 days is going to feel like a huge amount of time for me...and I think Zak is ready for 4 days a week at school.  We have such a good base.  I'm so proud that I made it work for a year and a half..and happy to continue on at 4 days.

Today wasn't the best use of our day together though.  I had a migraine all night, and it continued until around noon.  Poor Zak.  I debated between taking him on in to school or not...but he sat near me on the bed, bounced around and watched WallE all morning.  The bouncing around certainly didn't help my head...neither did the little face in my face every 30 minutes asking me "Mommy, are you still sick?  Can you get up now and play?"  It made me feel even worse.  I feel so sorry for any mom dealing with a chronic illness....I would hate for Zak to see me like that all the time.  The afternoon we spent doing chores to catch up from our vacation.  Zak has chores that he likes to do, and those that he doesn't.  I asked him to take some folded laundry up to his room...but he said he felt the floor needed cleaning instead.  He said Tato "made a big mess of the floor and he needed to clean it up."  Never mind that we just mopped it yesterday, and I have no idea what mess he thought Kuba made.  Anyway, it got a good Zak cleaning today.  

I did ask him if he'd like to take some more swim classes, he said he'd prefer gymnastics (Tumblebees)...so I think I'll look into that again.  

Anyway, last month for 3 days a week!  I hope to make the most of it from here!

5 day weekend (can I still call it a weekend?)

So last week I rearranged my work schedule so that I'd have Thursday and Friday off, which then tagged onto the Labor Day holiday on Monday...hence a 5 day weekend. We flew up to Minnesota to visit with my brother's family (Jude, Chad and Maya). My sister and her family flew up too (Ann, Dave, Ethan and Logan)...and we rented 2 cabins on Farmer's Lake (one of the 10,000 Lakes, very near the Canadian border.)

Some Pics

We had no internet in our cabins, nor phone service. We could go to the main lodge for internet, and we did so several times a day, I mean, you can't be disconnected for toooo long...but for the most part we were disconnected. Having 4 children 4 yrs old and under all together can never be completely relaxing (unless they are all napping, which never happened at the same time), but it was certainly enjoyable. We went for a pontoon boat ride, hiked to a waterfall, threw rocks in the lake, and grilled hot dogs and smores over the camp fire. By the end, I was definitely tired of managing the interactions of the kids (don't take that without asking, say thank you!, no hitting!), and really liked my brother-in-law Chad's idea to just let them go and see what happens. :-) One more day and I would have been there.

It was our first attempt at getting our families together...and I think our 8 bedroom set up really helped us feel close, yet not crowded. Maybe we overdid it on the bedrooms, but the set up worked and we had a great time.

Before we left for vacation, Zak worked very hard to get 15 stars. He needed 15 because he asked for a specific train track that was more expensive than his normal toys. Once he got his 15 stars, he had to wait a couple of days before I could get it. I had it set up in the living room for him when he came home from school. He didn't disappoint me :-) He ran over to it, and said very slowly..."This is a very, special track." He's been having a blast with it.

Later that night he was so engrossed in his train track that he probably waited a bit too long to decide to go to the restroom. He went running in to the restroom, pulled down his pants and started to go....and accidentally hit the floor with the first bit. Kuba happened to be walking by and said "Zak, are you crazy? Your supposed to pee in the toilet!" He was joking, but Zak didn't find it funny. He came back with "Hey! Don't call me crazy! It was just a mistake!" Kuba and I loved that. So I called in..."Hey, no problem on the mistake, but make sure you clean up the floor afterward." He responded "Oh, just wait a few minutes. It'll dry, you'll see." At least he's thinking things through. :-)

Our close friends from Poland arrive tomorrow, Darek, Beata and their 3 year old son Mattie. I can't wait to see Mattie and Zak interact without understanding each other's language. Something tells me they will manage just fine :-) Zak is excited because we decided to let them have our upstairs for the week (Polish people don't like basements, even if they are finished)...which means Zak will come down to our room. He told my friend Sara at lunch today that our friends will sleep in his room, so he'll have to sleep in Mommy's room now.

Work this week is hectic, but not too out of control. I had a president/CIO review yesterday, which I finished the prep for before I left...and surprisingly there were no last minute changes to it while I was gone :-) I actually had a very productive day yesterday even though my calendar was a mess. I weeded out the non-essential meetings and in the end think I picked the right ones because they were all very productive. It's tough having a 2 day work week this week...I know... **sniff, sniff**. I think Zak needed a relax day. It's been rainy and dreary all day, and we cuddled up a lot to just recoup from being gone the 5 days (and prep for our friends' visit)...he's been hugging me all day and saying "I just love you so much." Am I making him too sappy? :-) I'll take it while I can get it.

We did start the day with 30 minutes of homework which is due tomorrow. I'm in for a rude awakening when that has to be done during the night. When he gets home from school and Kuba and I from work, helping him with homework is the last thing we're going to want to do. I'm sure we'll manage :-)

Recovering

Well, at the beginning of this week, I thought Zak had completely changed his demeanor, and that maybe I was hitting a new stage of "terrible fours." Whenever we have a couple of tough days, I start thinking, wow, maybe I've spoiled him or done something wrong. But then I remembered how busy the last week was at the tennis tournament, and that he'd not gotten enough sleep at all...and I felt a little better. By Friday we were back to normal and I had my normally awesome son back :-)

On Wednesday, he was doing strange things like...as I was unloading the car, I put our backpack down on the ground to get some other things out. I put it down apparently right where he wanted to walk. He walked right up to the backpack and started crying "Why did you put the backpack here? I need to walk here and I can't!" I told him, "Zak, go around the backpack, there is plenty of room...I'll pick it up in a minute." But he continued to cry "No, I want to go through it! Why did you block me!" And he pushed through the backpack.

He also had gotten pretty bossy. I turned right on a red light, and he shouted out "Noooo!!!! Why did you go!?!?! It was RED!!!!! STOPP!!!"

Everything was just a bit more dramatic than it needed to be. But, as I said, by Friday, he was back to his wonderful self, I think because we had gotten back into some semblance of a normal schedule. On Friday we did a 3 hour bike/playground trip with Rowan and Dana. On the way to get them, Zak and I sang songs on the bike. Zak still loves that "You are my sunshine" song, and then he tells me that he's my sunshine. Then he also tells me that I'm HIS sunshine. Which makes me feel good. Then he says "and Tato's our coconut!" :-) Makes me laugh!

His new thing is to ask me "What's the problem?" If I say, "Oh shoot" because I hit a traffic jam, or I forgot to buy milk, or something...he comes running over "What? What's the problem here?"

Friday evening I was getting ready to go out for birthday drinks with friends, and I put on an outfit...Zak told me, "Mama, I like black, but that's not a good outfit for you at all." Then he proceeded to find another, purple outfit that he liked better. Wow! I wore the one he picked out, because it was more comfortable anyway :-)

Work is becoming a bit more challenging. We have quite a bit of business travel planned, which basically makes it impossible to do 3 days. The week of the travel obviously doesn't make sense...and then there is no possibility to catch it up because you already get way too far behind when you travel anyway. My work plan continues to "creep" up...and its slowly becoming much more than I can manage in my 3 days. I'm seriously considering going up to 4 days a week. Not only because of work, because I think I could force the issue if I really wanted to...but because I think Zak would probably do better going that one extra day to pre-school, and I feel like we've got such a great base set now. I'm going to think about it through September and then decide.

By the way, last week at work was great. As always, ups and downs...but all in all, I'm still on the right track and adding value :-)

A Very Busy Week

This week has been probably a little too hectic. The ATP is here, and we've become friends with some of the players, so we get to see the "backstage" of tennis.

We've been there late all week (around 11:00ish)...so poor Zak is exhausted. He wanted to go to King's Island on Wednesday, but I felt he needed to just relax and catch up on some sleep. I offered him a bike ride instead, but he didn't want it. We just kind of hung around all day, then went to the tourney around 4. I planned to come back around 8, but just when we were about to leave, the Polish doubles guys started to play, so we all went over to watch. Of course, we said just for the first set, but then for the second as well, and then for congrats after, etc. etc. So again, 11:00 to get home. Zak did another photo shoot this year with the Polish newspaper columnist from Chicago...he always seems to find Zak in his Polska shirt. If I actually see the publication, I'll make sure to put the link here.

Thursday Zak was sad that Marta had left us, but happy enough that Maciek, Ala and Klaudia came over for dinner and stayed the night. But this morning, when we told him they were all leaving today, he literally threw himself on the ground and said "No! I want some friends to stay with us right now!" I guess he's bored with just Mommy and Tato now.

Also, because we needed to use his room last night, we had him sleep with Kuba and I. Every time we do that, it's a fight the next night to get him back to his room. A few months ago he proclaimed that only little girls needed to sleep in their own beds, little boys need to sleep with their parents. I have no idea where that one came from. Anyway, tonight he informed me that he couldn't sleep in his room because it doesn't have a bathroom in it. So now he needs an "en-suite bathroom!" Anyway, he's asleep now in his own bedroom again, and hopefully will make it to the bathroom literally one step from his bedroom if needed :-)

Today (Friday) - we also took it easy since we were up again last night to midnight hanging out with the crew. I bought a new board game for us to play (Richard Scarry's "I can see it") - another great game. We had fun playing it twice, then got into a fight over who should go first. I wanted to go first, Zak said no, and when I said that was only fair since he went first the last two times, he said he didn't want to play. So we didn't. I didn't want to give into him. I think I'm a little on the tired side myself.

Kuba's aunt passed away on Wednesday. She's been fighting cancer for about 10 years, and it got really bad in the last couple of weeks. I can't do justice to the stress that has put Kuba under, and the arranging of when he should go to Poland, if we should all go, etc. Since Kuba's grandfather passed away just a few weeks ago, it's definitely a trying time for him and his family, which is a very small family anyway. Needless to say, it makes you appreciate what you have.

Anyway, the nice part of this week is that when things are this busy, having those extra two days to recuperate with Zak, or pitch in more to help Kuba, are very nice.

Work was very productive this week too. Ended on a very high note. Monday will be a critical day for me to know how I've really been doing over the past couple of months. I'll let you know how that goes next week :-)

the Renewal

Ok, well, I've been trying to determine what to do with this blog. I made it for a year, which was longer than I thought I would :-) But then abruptly stopped. I quit blogging because of what I'll call "the incident" at work. When the "incident" happened, I knew I could not blog about it. It was one of those times where I needed to wait a week or two for my head to clear before I did anything, lest I act (or write) irrationally.

In the end, I decided that no, I couldn't write honestly about the incident, which by the way, had nothing to do with my working part time, but everything to do with the colossal amount of stress that executives get put under (or put themselves under?). And so then I started questioning the whole purpose of my blog. I said in the beginning, I would write honestly about what it is like to work part time as an executive at a large company...and suddenly realized that when it came down to it, I wasn't able to be completely honest. So, am I being fake by continuing to blog under such a pretense?

On the other hand, I've had SO MANY people ask me why I've quit blogging. I think people appreciated it for several reasons, but one recurring one was that it reminded them to appreciate the little, but important things. So even if they aren't blogging, or working part time...some of the little things I recorded about Zak helped them remember not to take their own little life treasures for granted.

So, I've made peace with the fact that I probably won't be completely honest about some of the trials and tribulations at work (although I will try to be as honest as possible)...and so I will change the focus of the blog to be about appreciating the journey...which is what I'm trying to do. Appreciating the journey, in a responsible way :-)

I really missed blogging. It takes effort, but on the other hand, it made me really watch throughout the day for those little nuggets that I could share. So, let's try again :-)

Zak has come a long way in the last few months. He's 4 and so clearly a little boy now. If there is a group of kids between 3 and 6...he hangs with the older kids. He does simple math, and loves to play a subtraction board game I bought for us to play together. On the other hand, I can't get him to spend any time on forming words out of letters, or writing for that matter. So it looks like Math is his clear preference.

I started this "star" system with him, which has had so many unbelievable benefits. I was trying to think of an allowance system, but something not quite as complex because I think he's too young to understand fully money and savings. So we came up with "10 stars" gets him pretty much a toy of his choice. He's got it down and told me the other day that he has 5 stars, 2 5s makes 10, so he needs 5 more stars for "Dash" the tank engine (which he is now back into after several months of cars). I was really, really surprised that he basically figured out 2 sets of 5 = 10! He also negotiates with us all the time (Zak, if you eat some peas, I'll give you a star....hmmm, how about 3 stars?) If he's getting close to the target, he gets really motivated....earlier this week, he was at 7 stars and asked if we had any laundry to do so he could get a star. He then asked if we had any carrots to eat so he could get another star :-)

He's become very aware of his age, and that he's taller than some kids, but shorter than others. He tells anyone who will listen that he was 3, but now he's 4...and now he's tall enough to ride the colorful slide at the King's Island water park. Today he told me "One day, I'll be as tall as Chloe, and then I'll be able to ride all the rides at King's Island" :-) The King's Island height limits have really made an impression on him :-)

Another big impression, his best friend at school, Aiden, broke his arm, so has had a cast for the last month or so. Zak fell the other day, hurt his arm (a little only), ran over to me, and asked me to kiss it quick so it won't be broken. I did so, and luckily, it was just in time to prevent him needing a cast :-)

Today was Chloe's birthday, and she had her party at the Blue Ash Rec Center. Zak and Rowan were playing in one of the playgrounds where we could see them from the picnic shelter. Matt and I were talking about how nice it is that they are old enough to play without us having to watch every minute. About 5 minutes later, we realized there were still a lot of kids at that playground, but no Rowan or Zak. We started to walk over, thinking they were probably in the slide or something....started walking a bit faster when kids were coming out of the slide...but no Rowan or Zak. So Matt, Dana and I start running, realizing that Zak probably convinced Rowan to go to another part of the park. Matt found them first...they came running when they saw him...Zak said, "We were just checking out the river." oo la la. I trusted Zak again a little later...he gave me a high five, and promised he would come and tell me if he wanted to leave the playground within our sight. He kept his promise this time.

Work is going really well right now. The atmosphere is high stress, but manageable. I have a pretty strong team again, and they really step up on the days I'm not there. I think it's pretty seamless for most people. I try to look at it this way...if I had the 2 more days, sure I'd get more done, but I'd also probably spin a bit more as well. I literally tell myself sometimes...you don't have time to deal with that, make a decision and go. And that's what I do :-)

I can't believe next year at this time I'll be sending Zak off to kindergarten, celebrating my 40th birthday, and probably upping my work days (maybe I'll ease back into 4 days a week to start :-))...I have a good life. The best of a lot of worlds.

Day 92

You know, it's occurred to me, I've just passed the 1 year mark! Wow, time is flying way too fast. I still feel like I'm learning how to manage it, and probably it'll all be over before I do :-) One of the VPs at work asked yesterday when I was coming back full time...I'm counting on another year and a half...when Zak goes to kindergarten. I think I can make it. This time has been precious for me.

I pretty much caught up at work this week, and feel very much ok at the macro level. Unfortunately, I started getting sick Tuesday afternoon, and spent all of my "Zak Wednesday" laying on the counch with a bad stomach ache. I literally ate one waffle all day. I told Zak my tummy hurt, and he got a look on his face of "I know what to do"..and said "Hey, I can kiss it for you!" And he did. And I was all mushing and warm inside.

Luckily Babcia is still here, and Katie came over to play for a few hours in the afternoon, so hopefully he wasn't too bored. We did a few things...we walked around the block at one point, in between rain showers. I've already told you how he points out "Sally" whenever he sees a porsche...he's also started pointing out other characters..."Hey, there's a Rusteze guy", and I look and it's a rusty old car.

I asked him if he wanted to practice writing his letters for another star. He told me "That's a big idea!" I have no idea where he got that! We say it at work all the time, so I can only imagine that I must have said it at home at some point...but i can't recall it! It was very odd to hear that from a 3 year old. I had him write "Sally"...and he told me "Funny that Sally has an eleven in her name." :-)

Zak's been doing this strange thing where he likes to close his eyes, and walk around until he bumps into things. I told him I'd rather him not do that, because he's goign to run into something and hurt himself. He said, very seriously, "Yeah, but if I do, you'll kiss it and make it better." One day he's going to realize how unmagical my kisses really are. I did hear him playing with his car toys in the bathtub later...he kept making one of them go uner the bubbles, and the other car told him not to go under the bubbles. The first car asked "Why", the second car said "Because, you are going to get hurt and I don't want to see you get hurt." It made me smile.

Last thing that I forgot to mention a few weeks ago when I blogged about taking Zak to my office...when we left, he asked "Why do you work in a maze?" Ah!

Anyway, even though I was down and out with the stomach flu, Zak kept me smiling. :-)

Day 88, 89, 90 and 91

Made it through two weeks ago better than I expected :-) There is so much I want to get done at work, I have so many ideas...if only I had more time! I just got asked to take on a pretty major project at work, and I don't feel i can say no. It's so hard to tell what is scope creep on my 60%, and what is just normal work life that everyone struggles to balance. Anyway, it's an interesting one, so I want to do it, I just need to figure out how to fit it in.

In the meantime, Zak has become quite a character. He's become a freak over "Cars the movie cars" as he calls them, to the point of obsession. He started throwing a little fit when we needed to leave the rec center. I told him that was the kind of behavior Tato and I don't like to see, and the type that keeps him from getting new cars. He quickly said he was sorry. I told him "Thanks for the apology, but it still won't get you a new car, at least not today." He said "I told you I was sorry to get a new car!" Inside I was laughing...at least he was honest.

Kuba and I have been trying to figure out the right approach to teaching him about consequences and the value of money too. I'm not sure how I feel about paying him to do chores that he already should be doing. We started a "star" system, which seems to be working well. He needs to get 10 stars in order to get a car....and he can get stars in various ways. If he helps with laundry, the dishes, etc. Sometimes he neogitates for more stars. For example, I told him I'd give him a star if he at least "tried" our salmon...he thought for a minute, and said "how about two stars?" I thought it was a pretty good start into the realm of negotiation, so agreed. But in the end, he decided trying the salmon wasn't worth even two stars. :-) He also beat me at a game of "Snakes"...and suggested that was worth a star. Made me laugh, but not enough to dole out another star :-)

We went to visit Kuba for lunch on Friday, went down to the Montgomery Inn Boathouse to see the river. It was a beautiful day, so we walked outside for a bit. Zak all of a sudden yelled out, "Hey look! It's Sally!" as he was pointing to a very nice looking Porsche in the parking lot. I wonder what the owner would think to have their car associated with the Disney character :-) Interestingly, he can pick a porsche out anywhere now...as Sally.

And now another week has gone by, and I had a bit of a break down at work last week. I had to give up half a day last week for some all day meetings, plus an evening for a business dinner. Those all day meetings usually get me down a bit...just the stress of trying to keep up without letting it consume you. I woke up at 4 most days and started working a bit. Another week gone by without a tennis practice...no wonder I'm losing my matches :-(

But Friday was all Zak, and that helped. I'm still stressed going into tomorrow, I have so much to catch up on, but having the time with the family really helped. Friday was beautiful, so we went up to the park for 2 hours in the morning. We came back, and I turned on some music and started dancing. Zak at first told me "Mommy, stop! Don't dance!" Why does no one in my family realize my artistic talents? Anyway, I told him I was either dancing without him, or with him...so he got up and start dancing, in a very particular and interesting way. He insisted that I follow him around the house, which I did. After 15 minutes I was pooped, but he told me to keep going. Looks like he's a boy of extremes :-)

We went to meet my friend Melanie for lunch. My brother bought us a tandem bike for Zak for Christmas. We've tried it a few times in the driveway, so I was ready to bike up to meet her, but it started looking more and more like rain...maybe next time. I can't wait to go biking with Zak on it :-) After lunch, it still wasn't raining, so I put on my roller blades, and Zak took his scooter and we rolled around the neighborhood. Around 4 it started to rain, so we finally came inside. It was a great day after a stressful week.

I have to tell these last two stories, even if it happened on the weekend, so not really part of my part time adventure...we started a home improvement project this week, a pretty major one. Zak has really shown how much he's grown. He really can help now. We gave him the vacuum cleaner, and he kept things clean as we were tearing down dry wall and such. He helped carry out lumber, took out trash, etc. etc. From time to time, he'd tell me, "Ok Mommy. I'm done helping you, now I'm going to help Tato. Let me go get my tools." He'd come running back with his drill, hammer, and level. The last time tonight, he said "Ok Tato, what can I do?" Kuba said "Hold on, I need to think, I'm not sure what we have to do right now." Zak said "I know. Look at this edge right here? It needs to come off. Here, I'll work on this, you hand me some nails, ok?" Kuba was very surprised.

Tonight I came into my room, and there was a big mess! Zak has this "magnet mosaic" game...600 magnets of different colors that you can put on different patterns to make some mosaics. Zak had thrown all of them on my bedroom floor! I called Zak in, and asked what happened. He said "I was cross." I asked why? He said "I was really mad about dinner." I recalled back that he had wanted what he calls "Toast Waffles" for dinner (cinnamon waffles, in the shape of cinnamon toast.) He had already had a toast waffle for breakfast, so I told him I'd make him a regular waffle or he could eat what we were eating (the "toast waffles" have more sugar in them). He shouted that he didn't like "circle" waffles, and didn't want what we were eating. I ignored him, and prepared his plate. He ran off, but when he came back, he took his plate and asked if we could eat on the patio...which we did. I remember thinking it was great that he started throwing a fit, but then came around. I guess I know now how he let off his steam. So then he started cleaning them all up, and said "But I'm happy now." Is this normal?

Anyway, a great weekend, after a tough couple of weeks. Tomorrow's first meeting, 6am :-) So now I'm headed to bed.

Days 84,85, 86 and 87

I've been a bit lazy about the blog the last couple weeks, and I'm sorry about that. I've still been tracking notes, so I'll try to catch up now. Work has been good. I think I'm starting to figure out how to let the stress drive me, but not overwhelm me. It's a very hot time right now there, with budget firms being set for next fiscal year, and our lead team of 20 VPs coming to town next week...but I'm trying to do the best I can when I'm there, let myself creatively think on the issues when I'm not, but not let it consume me. There are so many little things I can do, but I need to stay focused on the big rocks...and at least make sure the little things I do do move the big rock forward a bit. I feel like in this new role, there are many more "little" things that consume my time...I need to be careful.

The last two weeks I've also been very reclusive. I don't know if others get like this, and I don't know exactly what triggers it, but from time to time, I feel like a hermit. I just want to hole up in my home, with my family, and keep everyone close. I cancelled most of my tennis last week, same for the gym...and asked Kuba if we could just all stay together each night. We didn't do anything special, just made dinner and hung around. I actually feel pretty lazy after awhile, but I just need it from time to time. Maybe it's me mentally prepping for those VPs coming to town, and knowing I have a big week of several 6/7am to 10pm days coming up. Anyway, for whatever reason, we stayed holed up, not doing much, and I didn't even feel like blogging. Obviously I'm coming out of it now :-)

So now to the good stuff. My time with Zak has been great. When I get in these moods, I enjoy my time even more with him. He's really becoming such a sweet boy. Everytime he meets a new kid on the playground, or at the gym, he immediately walks up to them and offers them one of his cars. They don't always get what he's doing...but he offers it, and my heart melts.

We've been doing our "class work" in the mornings, and it's struck me how different he is than me in certain things. There was a matching page, where you match things on the left with things on the right...this time small things to big things. He did the first 4 or so exactly perfect, drawing lines across...then on the last one, he started drawing, then draw all the way around the page, up and down, in between other pictures, and finally landed on the right match. I don't think I would have ever done something like that as a kid...in fact, I probably would be more apt to take a ruler to draw the lines between the things versus a maze around the page. I love that he doesn't mind being a little non-traditional with his matching :-)

I again tried to get him to at least try some Polish...I asked him to at least say yes please, and thank you in Polish when Babcia made him some milk. It was so sweet to hear him say "Tak prosze" and "Dziekuje"...I think Babcia's heart melted then. She said he says it with such a sweet American accent.

A couple of funny things...on Monday, Zak was pouting because he didn't want Kuba and I to go to work. I asked him, "Don't you want to stay and play with Babcia?" He said "Babcia's not a playing kind of guy...she's more of a cleaning kind of guy." I burst out laughing! Apparently he attributes Babcia with cleaning all day! I must admit, when I come home from work, the house is prestine and I always wonder how she manages :-) I guess now I understand that she probably doesn't spend quite as much time as I do on the playing part :-P

The other funny thing was when Zak and I played a joke on Kuba. He went for tennis one night and usually gets back around 10:30 or so. Zak was up in his bed, but about 10 minutes before Kuba came home, Zak came downstairs and said he couldn't sleep. So I had him climb into bed with me. When we heard Kuba drive up, I told him, hide under the covers and when Tato gets close, we'll jump up and say "Surprise." So he got himself under the covers, and I pretended to be asleep...but I couldn't help but smile a bit. I couldn't believe we could actually play a trick together on Kuba. Kuba came into the room, and I could tell he was sensing something...at almost the same time, Kuba said "What's that goofy smile on your face" and Zak said "Is he here?" from under the covers...so I threw back the covers and said "Surprise! We're still awake!" Kuba started tickling Zak asking what he was doing in our bed and still awake. It was fun.

Last memory for the week...on Wednesday we went to Macy's again (to buy what? cosmetics for Babcia), and then to Fresh Market. When we got back into the car after Fresh Market, I realized we didn't have the toy we started the day with. I asked "Where is Rosie?" (pink train engine)...and Zak said "Oh no, I left her in the store." "Are you sure?" "Yes!"...so as I was getting back out to go look for her...Babcia says, no, no, no, she is SURE that Zak didn't have Rosie when we went into the store...she thinks he left her at Macy's. But I was pretty sure I saw him have her still at Macy's. Babcia is 100% sure though that he didn't have her at Fresh Market, so we start searching the car. Zak said calmly again..."She's in the store." So I go ahead into the store, he had been searching deligently through the Easter candy because I told him he could take one candy...so I concentrated there, couldn't find her, then in the carts, etc. It's a small store, so many of the workers helped as well...but we couldn't find her. So I came back out and said "Sorry Zak...let's go check back at Macy's" Now he started to panic.."No! She's there, in the chocolates!" He's so sure, so I take him out to have him help find her. Babcia is again saying, "No, I'm sure, he didn't have her there!" Who do I listen to? I figure Zak doesn't say much, so when he talks, I better listen. So we go back to the store, and he walks straight to the Easter chocolates, but still we can't find her. He retraces his steps through the whole store...still no Rosie, and then back to the chocolates. He's looking around really sad like "I know she is here!" Finally, I dig a bit deeper into the basket of chocolates, and she's all the way down at the bottom! Zak knew it! Babcia was certainly surprised. :-)

Day 82 and 83

Last Friday, and today, Wednesday, have been really great. Friday morning I had the idea that a) Zak should start helping a bit more consistently with chores and b) we should spend some time on reading, writing and/or math each morning. So Friday morning, I asked him to help me with unloading the dishwasher and doing the laundry. He loved doing both (and really did help)...so we'll see how long that lasts.

Then I opened up a Thomas the Train activity book, and told him we need to get through 5 pages of it before we could go do anything else. He shocked me! I had him circle all of certain letters (ie. circle all the Bs)...and he did, albeit the circles were a bit to be desired. Then, for every letter, he told me the sound it made. He's known words that start with the sounds for a long time...but it's the first time I heard him say "B"..."Bbbbbb"...and so then we sounded out some words. After B, I asked what sound "U" makes...he knew....and then "what sound does S make"...he knew...and so eventually we sounded out BUS. It took a lot to get him to put them together, but he got all the individual sounds. So we did the same for several words, and then he did some other activities in the book...finding the one that didn't belong, matching things on the left to things on the right. I guess I didn't realize how much he has learned.

Anyway, after that, we ran some errands together, came home for lunch, and then went up to the park to enjoy the beautiful weather. We stayed at the park again for an hour or more. He made friends with a little boy there, probably around 5 years old....they played cars together. Then, a little girl, around 2 years old, came and stole Zak's newest car. All of a sudden I saw Zak and the other little boy chasing this little girl, looking extremely distraught. Everytime they caught up to the girl, Zak would say something, and the girl would take off again. I happened to be talking to the girl's father...and we realized it was our kids that were involved in something. The dad laughed saying his daughter always got the boys chasing her. I thought I had heard Zak shout something about his car...so said I think they way she's done it is by taking his car. He said, no, no...they are just having fun. We both came to look, and sure enough, she had the car...I asked Zak why he couldn't share it. He said "Not that one!" and ran and got another one and gave it to her. The dad said, wow, I guess she knows how to get their attention. After that they played pretty well together. I could tell Zak didn't know what to do when he caught up to the girl and she wasn't responding to his plea for the car! Anyway, kind of fun to see the interactions...I was glad he didn't resort to any physically pushing or pulling.

When Tato got home, we all played "Snakes" together. It was so much fun. Zak made each of us take a car, and use the car to select the cards.

This morning Zak asked if he was going to school....I said no, we are staying home, is that ok? He said, very excitedly "YEAHN, I LOVE staying home!" :-) Great! We had our breakfast, then did the 2nd day of our morning chore routine...dishes and laundry. Thsi time, I had him take Kuba's clean clothes to his closet. I figured he'd just put them on the floor or something. 10 minutes later, I came to check what he did with them, and I couldn't find them! I was looking, and looking...and then finally found them in Kuba's dirty clothes hamper! That could be a never ending cycle :-)

Then we did our writing activities again, and went up to the rec center for our standard workout. We came home, ate lunch...and then we had a bit of a standoff. Babcia made Zak a sandwich, and I asked him to say "Dziekuje" to Babcia. He said "Thanks" instead. I told him I at least wanted him to try to say it in Polish..he said "No, I can't." I've been hearing that word can't a bit too often lately. I told him again, I wanted him to at least try. He became almost hysterical, saying no, he can't say it. We fought for about 10 minutes, and finally I told him to either give Babcia a thank you hug, or say Dziekuje. He chose the thank you hug. It's a shame.

Anyway, by then, he was emotionally exhausted, and seemed physically tired too. I figured we'd get in the car and he'd fall asleep while I ran some chores (car wash, etc)...of course he wouldn't sleep. After an hour of chores and driving, I decided we should do something active...so we went ice skating! Once again, going during the week is SO much different than during the weekend. On the weekend, you can barely move on the rink...today there was a total of 7 people there! He had so much fun! He didn't want to go, and I've noticed lately that he never wants to try anything new...so I forced the issue and asked him to at least try. At the end he was crying that he didn't want to leave. And as this was only my 2nd time on the ice myself...I must admit I felt much more confident at the end too!

Then we came home, and he fell asleep for 3 hours! I guess I finally wore him out:-)

Oh, one more interesting thing...we drove up to the outlet mall on Monday, since we had a day off...on the way, as we were passing the exit to get to Ann and Dave's...he said "Ethan lives here!" This is crazy to me...its not like we go there that often.

Anyway, it's been a good personal couple of weeks, and work is going really well too. I'm getting a better handle on the new type of stress that comes with this role and how to manage it...and I think getting into a good ryhthm now that I'm back to Mon, Tues and Thursday. I also think I've got my new network of people built up, so the relationships and trust are there that are imperative to making this work. I'm by no means caught up or feel completely in control...but I'm a broken record in that regard!

I continue to feel very lucky and happy.

Day 81

Wednesday was a great day. Probably a combination of having a good couple days at work, and the absolutely gorgeous weather, had something to do with it.

First of all, the work stuff. As I said, this was the week of 6am meetings, but the meetings were productive, and I felt I got a lot done. One of the girls who works with me actually told me "Thanks so much for always being so calm. You help me stay calm." That was a shocker for me. I always feel like a chicken with my head cut off :-) She then said "I can't believe you only work 3 days a week..I always feel like you are here." Now, that can be good or bad...but since I'm definitely NOT there 5 days a week, yet she feels I'm always there for her, that feels really good. Honestly, I think she just has very easily adapted to my schedule, but I also think going back to my Mon, Tues, Thurs schedule has helped. I don't think people realize how important Tuesday seems to be during the week :-) Anyway, it was nice to hear that I appeared calm and she felt I was always there for her when needed. On the other hand, I had another guy tell me "You've certainly introduced me to a new definition of fast...my energy level is so high right now that I feel I can move forward without having to have everything perfect." I'm sure I'm not hearing from the people who think I'm pushing too hard...but fast and calm are two attributes I don't mind having tossed around when describing me :-)

Wednesday started off with our normal leisurely breakfast, then we headed up to the rec center. Finally we are all feeling pretty much 100%, so I did a small run, then let Monika do her workout, while Zak and I played in the game room. We played for 30 minutes with the cars he brought in his backpack...making up stories and acting them out. Then he wanted to play some pool, so I had him go out and ask the receptionist for the pool balls. He's so cute...he gets so nervous, asks very quickly for the balls, then says "Thanks" and walks away. We played some pool but then back to the cars. He's just a freak about these cars right now.

We came home, I went for lunch with a good friend of mine who just had a baby (Tyler!)...Zak wanted to go, but he seemed a little bit too anxious to sit still in a restaurant. When I got home, it was 57 degrees! So I took him out to the park and we played for 2 hours! He brought all his cars of course, and we ended up sliding them one by one down the sliding board. I would catch them at the end and throw them back up to him. At one point, we did play house, where he likes to make me "Macaroni and cheese and chocolate milk in a sponge bob cup." Whenever he hands me the macaroni and cheese he says "Careful, it's VERY hot!" Then some other kids came over, both of them his age. He walked right up to them, handed each of them 2 of his cars, and the 3 of them started playing sliding the cars down the sliding board. It was really nice to see. He's very giving with his things, at least for now.

Later we came home and were watching "Mater's Tales." It's these little 5 minute clips of some of the Cars characters. There is one clip where Mater is in a heavy metal band...and I always say I don't like that one, because I don't like seeing Mater all dressed up in leather and stuff. This time, Zak told me "Ooohh...this one's not for you Mommy! Let's fast forward it." Then he said, "I like that one, but the UFO one is not for me!" So we skipped through Heavy Metal Mater, and UFO Mater...but watched all the others. I was kind of impressed that he actually thought of my feelings like that.

We ended the day with a grill out on the patio and hanging out with Aunt Katie. It was just a really nice day.

Now, tonight (Thursday), he did shock me...today after work I picked him up from school and Kuba's mom wanted to go for fitness...so I said sure, Zak and I will just go to the game room. But Thursdays after school the game room is a much different place! There were lots of teenage boys there playing ping pong, pool, and one was on the arcade games. Zak wanted to play on the second arcade game...which was fine. Normally we both play, but this time only he could, with the teenage boy on the other one. He was entranced with what the teenage boy was doing. First, he showed the boy the 2 cars he had brought with thim...the boy was nice and actually acknowledged him. Then Zak would look at whatever game he was playing, and select the same game to play (ie, Frogger, PacMan, Asteroids, etc) At some point, I was trying to help Zak because he wasn't really using the controls right, and he pushed me away and said "No! WE'RE playing! You go over there!" WHAT!!! HE'S 3 YEARS OLD! I can't believe I was so easily replaced with this teenage boy. It was so clear he wanted me to leave him alone so he could play with the big boys. My beautiful time where I'm the center of his world is already coming to an end. *Sniff, sniff* Only reenforces for me that I'm doing the right thing getting a few extra days with him while it lasts!!!

Days 79 and 80

This was a really good week. At work, it was one of those weeks where I had a lot of actual "work" time, not overloaded with meetings...and I felt mostly very good about the progress we've made over the past 7 months or so. There are areas where I wish we were further of course, but I feel very good on the overall big picture, and had enough time this week to get a lot of loose ends tied up. Next week will be different :-) Half day meetings starting at 6 2 of the days, and 3 vp reviews :-P

I think the reason it felt like such a good week is not only because I felt like I got a lot done at work, but also I had a lot of time with Zak, plus got an evening out with good friends, and even took a couple hours to get my hair cut, colored, etc. Kuba and I had a great week celebrating on and off again our 5 year anniversary...just all around a very healthy week (except for the start of the week where I was battling 101 temperature for a couple days...)

Anyway, the Zak stuff...on Wednesday morning, for some reason he put his cars into a circle, and then showed me he had made a cirlce. I, for some reason, then used his other cars to make a T, and then pointed out my T. He then went on to make a T with his fingers, and then showed me how to make a diamond, and a triangle as well. He obviously learned this at school, because I never showed him. I then showed him how to make a cirlce with his fingers...which he promptly told me was not right, and no, you can not make a circle with your fingers. I'm assuming because they didn't show him at school that he thinks it's not possible.

After breakfast, he started playing on the computer while I was cleaning up. I asked him if we could talk instead of him playing on the computer...he said "No." So we started this thing where if I ask him a question, and he doesn't answer me, the computer goes off. I LOVE that he is so computer savvy, but I worry that I'm going to lose him to the ether world. We'll have to keep an eye on that :-)

Monika was a little stir crazy because we had all been sick most of the weekend, so we went out shopping. We took Zak to ToysRUs and let him pick a car, then we went to the mall so she could get some make-up. I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I was still a bit afraid of being around her new baby since I was still coughing, so we just went home. Zak wanted to play "the big race" with his cars, and he put a bunch of the "extra" cars on the stairs. He said this was the audience for the big race. It made me smile...but I told him it probably wasn't safe to put cars on the steps, what if Babcia needed to come down and stepped on one and slipped? So he moved them all over to the side of the steps, and said Babcia should step in the middle so she won't fall a hit her head. I figured that was probably ok, and hollered up a warning to Babcia. We then re-enacted the "Big Race", with the big crash and all...including the fans in the audience going wild.

We took the rest of Wednesday kind of easy...I ran out and got my hair cut during Zak's nap....then I let Zak take a bubble bath, since the new Car he bought was meant for the bathtub. After 30 minutes or so I insisted he get out (he body was a complete prune)...he kept saying he wasn't ready...but finally I unplugged the bathtub plug...and then we had a battle for the next few minutes of him waiting until I was getting his clothes ready or such, and plugging the tub back up. He's getting quite a little independent streak...which I love.

Our friend was in town from Canada, and so Thursday night a group of my good friends went out together. It's so nice having Monika in town, AND having my 2 days off...so that I don't feel guilty when I actually take a night out...and of course having a built in babysitter :-) Friday we spent the day with our friend....starting the day with some breakfast at home, heading out to do some shopping downtown (and a dentist appt for me), then to lunch with Kuba. Zak had so much fun during all of it...he LOVES downtown...so many buses and taxis and police cars. Then Kate and Monika went to the Underground Railroad museum, which I really want to go to, but I figured this was a good opportunity for Monika to go before she goes back to Poland, and I read it's not very good for kids....so Zak and I drove out of downtown and did some errands while he napped (got the car washed, went to the drive-thru pharmacy, etc)...then we went back downtown and had some ice cream at Greaters. Just as we were about to get on the ice rink, Babcia called and said she was ready...so we came back home and just enjoyed hanging around for the last couple hours until Tato came home. Then Kuba and I went for some tennis...

The week was just a really good one...I felt very good at work, and very good at home. Life is good :-)

Day 78

Friday was a very good day. I didn't like how I started the day though. I woke up at about 6 and thought I'd log in to work to send one email. It's one of those emails that you have to put a lot of thought into, and I had been thinking about it most of the night...so thought I'd get it out since I had some time. Normally Zak will wake up at about 7 if unprompted, but maybe he heard me moving about or something...he came down and wanted me to hold him. I was half way through writing the email, and I got raelly frustrated with Zak. I wanted him to stay asleep, and give me time to get it out, otherwise I'd be thinking about it all morning. I told him to lay down, and he kept wanting to hug my neck. So sad of me, but I really just wanted him to give me 15 more minutes to get this done. I told him, pretty angrily, to lay back down. Then I checked myself, gave him a kiss and hug, and asked him please just to give me a few more minutes. He did. One day, I'm going to miss him wanting to cuddle with me in the mornings. This is why I need to be careful about letting myself use any of my day off time for work...it can easily slip into hours if I'm not careful. I've seen other people ask their kids for "5 more minutes", and then when the kids get into something else, the adults start into something else, and then get mad again when the kids want their attention 15 minutes later. I just need to be careful.

Anyway, I got the note out, and shut down the computer....and made sure to listen to what Zak wanted to do for the morning. I cuddled with him and asked "do you want to go get some breakfast?" He said "Oh sure!" That's his new thing "Oh sure!" Do you want some ketchup? "Sure!" Do you want to play cars? "Sure!" After breakfast, he wanted to play cars, then we went to the rec center. I must admit I love being able to get a small run in in the mornings, and know Zak is enjoying spending time with Babcia. We came home for lunch, then Babcia wanted to go shopping for some make-up (she always needs to go shopping for make-up.) I asked Zak if he wanted to go shopping...he said "Oh sure! To Target to buy a new car!" I thought that was fair, given how boring buying make-up would be for him. But I am a little struck by how the Target brand has had such an influence on him. They are building a Target about a mile from our house, I wonder if he'll want to work there when he's a teenager :-)

We went to Target, he spent about 20 minutes selecting his car...and I love to watch his thought process. We go through all the cars and narrow it down to the ones he doesn't have. Then he picks them up 2-3 times and considers. He asked their names, and then I don't knwo what goes through his head. Eventually he picked "Valerie Veat."

We both napped when we got home (I am catching the bug he had earlier this week)...and then we went for his first tennis practice. He hated it. I must admit, I don't think it was set up right...there were 8 4yr olds, 2 teachers, and they expected them to stay in a line and hit when it was their turn. They were bored to death. I think in 45 minutes, Zak got a chance to hit the ball about 8 times. I would be bored myself. He told me after "I don't like tennis because I don't know how to play." I guess Kuba or I will need to play 1:1 with him for awhile first.

We had an easy night, just hanging out and relaxing. We are all either getting over, or getting a small bug, so we thought just hanging out was probably the best idea. Kuba made an awesome dinner for us (baked salmon with a wonderful lemon sauce)...Zak even liked it.

After dinner, Kuba went to work on our basement bathroom. At about 8, Zak said "Do you want to play cars with me Mommy?" I said, "No, it's probably time for bed." Zak said "Oh, no! I have to help Tato! And he grabbed his tool belt and ran down to help Tato. Anything to avoid bed time!

Anyway, we had a lot of fun today....not too busy, not too lazy.

Days 76 and 77

Friday was great, but very busy. I had had a hard, emotional week at work. I had several reviews last week, finishing with one with my vice-president on Thursday. My sister asked if I ever had time to work with all the reviews I do :-) Anyway, I was really, really ready for the 3-day weekend.

Friday morning we had a photographer come to our house and take pictures. (http://www.kencrites.com/People/Cielica-2/15657499_BgUi3#1173471929_23Mrq) We had a lot of fun and tried to get some candid pictures throughout the house...and in the snow. I wanted to get some pics before Babcia went back to Poland. I highly recommend Ken...he makes it so easy! I was disappointed that Kuba had to work, but we got some nice ones anyway. Zak was starting to feel bad, but we continued on.

Then I went to lunch with a friend, came home and we went to the rec center. We had a ton of fun playing air hockey, pool and shuffle board. I got a small run in while Babcia and Zak played too. I had planned to take Zak to his first tennis lesson at 4...but I could tell he was starting to feel tired, so we went home and stayed in. I met Dana and Sara for a coffee at 5, and then Dana, Matt and Rowan came over for dinner. It was a very nice, relaxing way to start the weekend.

Unfortunately, the rest of the weekend was plagued with 103 fevers for Zak...all the way through Monday he was going up and down depending on if we gave him medicine or not. We still managed to have some fun though, having some new friends over Saturday evening (the Crites), and Jill, Vikash and Chloe visiting for the weekend. Luckily Babcia was here, because Monday morning Zak had a fever again. I'm going to miss this luxury when she goes home :-)

Today (Wednesday) has been great, maybe a little lazy. I really concentrated on playing with Zak, because it's the first day he's been really well since Friday. He didn't disappoint me.

But first, breakfast. He had his standard, milk and cheerios...but wasn't too interested in the cheerios this morning. His appetite has been a bit lite since he's been sick. I asked him to eat his breakfast so we could play...he asked for a reese cup instead (we have a bag of small ones.) I told him no, of course not for breakfast...but then I said, you know what, if you eat your cheerios, you can have one. He countered with, "Ok, I'll eat ONE cheerio, and then a reese cup." I countered with, "No, ALL cheerios, and then a reese cup." I've never seen him eat a bowl so fast. Unbelievable.

Then we started playing. We went through all of his Cars (Lightning, Mater, LeakLess, Octane Gain, Chewall, etc, etc)...he only gets stuck on Transberry Juice...and I do too. He's just today realized that there are different brands of cars...and so now he's organizing them by: Disney/Pixar, Matchbox and Hotwheels. He gives the matchbox and hotwheels ones names...the names are so complicated I can't even understand them, but he remembers them everytime. Most of the names are 3 syllables long.

He loves to make up stories for the cars, and so we played for a good 45 minutes with them. He's started recently crashing the cars...like Chick Hicks does in the movie...and inevitably one will fall off the table. I don't know how to think about this...I don't like the agressiveness of it, on the other hand, I think it's pretty normal. Anyway, I figured I should do something to counteract the agression, so whenever a car fell of the table, I said sadly "Ahh, he's hurt!" and I picked him up and kissed him. So then Zak started doing the same thing...but it was this weird game of crashing the car to the floor, and then sadly picking them up and kissing them to make them feel better.

I was actually trying to get a video of him picking up the car and kissing it, but of course once I got the iPhone out to video, he wanted it...and he started taking pictures of the cars (and did pretty good!) Interestingly, he taught me something on the iPhone! I didn't know you could flip staight out of the camera into the photos on the iPhone...I always wondered how he so quickly got into the photo gallery...and today I saw him hit the icon in the camera that did it. Go figure.

Then we went up to the rec center and played in the game room....came home and took showers/bubble baths. After Zak's bubble bath, I was dressing him in my favorite shirt for him...his Oscar the Grouch sweatshirt (the one he wore for the pictures)...and he told me "You know, I don't like that shirt at all." Wah! I'm glad I got the pics when I did! So I let him pick out another one. As I was getting him dressed, he asked me, "Are you going to work today?" I told him "No, today I'm staying home." He said "Why?" I said "Well, I thought we'd just have time to play. Is it ok?" He said "Yeah! That's a GREAT idea!" Thank goodness. I thought he was going to tell me he wanted to go to school or something :-)

We had some lunch, and then I drove around and ran a few errands while he napped in the car (beauty of having Babcia with us...I can run in and out without waking him)...and then as the day was winding down and we were growing bored of each other, he asks, very matter of factly... "Did someone buy me a car today?" Tato has been bringing him home a new care almost every day, and so now he seems to expect one! They learn so fast!

Anyway, a very good, quality day :-)

Day 75

Wednesday was a good day, but I was in a bit of a bad mood, a little sick, and so was Zak. It just hung over us the whole day. Nitpicking at each other. Work is definitely on my mind a lot these days.

We went to the rec center and played, but only the video games. Normally we play some pool (interesting with a 3 year old), and shuffle board..but he only wanted to play the video games. Babcia did a small work out. We decided to go to Indian for lunch. Babcia had never eaten Indian before. It was a bit of a challenge because Zak was in such a bad mood...he kept wanting to serve himself from the buffet. He was surprisingly interested in trying everything though. He especially liked the "puffed up" naan.

We came home, and I tried for 2 hours to get him to sleep. It just wasn't meant to be. I kept falling asleep, and he kept waking me up. I feel asleep with my head on his pillow with him, which apparently he didn't like. He pushed me off, and just as I was about to tell him that wasn't nice and he should share his pillow, he reached over and got my pillow and pushed it under my head. I guess that's fair. At some point I told him I wasn't feeling very good, so if he could please sleep, I would be very happy. He then put his hand on my tummy and said "Hmm, yup, a little hot, but not too bad." I couldn't help but laugh.

So we got up, and I asked if he wanted some hot chocolate. He said, "No, some warm chocolate please." So I made him some chocolate milk, and I don't know what I was thinking, probably about work or something, and forgot to warm it up. I gave it to him and he said "Hey, that's not warm at all!" Oops, right. So I heated it up.

Later we were eating a snack, and he started playing a game...he would put the cashew on his head and say "We don't eat like this" and then he'd put it in his mouth "We eat like this." Then he'd do the same thing to his ear "We don't eat like this", and then to his mouth, "We eat like this." He was watching me to see if I'd catch on. So I put one to my knee and tried to eat it that way. And so we finally broke out of our bad moods. :-)

One thing I did forget to mention on Friday...I was meeting my friend for lunch, but she had slipped her car off the road into a ditch. (Guess who???) :-) Anyway, she called and said she was waiting on a tow truck. Zak wanted to play with my iPhone, and normally, if someone calls or text messages, he just cancels them and I don't know anyone was trying to get a hold of me until after he's done. So I told him, Zak, you can play with it, but if someone calls or texts, you HAVE to show me. Aunt Sara hurt her car and she might need help. So when Sara called again (2x), both times he said "Mommy, Aunt Sara! Is her car ok?" and handed me the phone. It's really nice that he's starting to understand and be understanding.

Sometimes I wonder if I blog too much about the cute things that Zak does, versus the trials and tribulations of working part time...but Sara last night reminded me...it's all these cute things that I would have missed if I had been working. And she's right....of course I would get to see cute things no matter what, but I definitely get more than my fair share now! It's the "pro" side of working part time :-) And I have time to blog about it so I'll never forget..

Days 73 and 74

This week has gone pretty well. I tell you though, these two day work weeks (since Monday was MLK day) really do make it hard for me to keep up! And the snow days aren't helping either. A little chaotic of a week, but all and all ended on a high note. I keep feeling like if I had one more day a week, I'd be completely in control...wishful thinking I'm sure. The other thing thats become very clear to me...we have way too many full day meetings. Jimini. We need to get more efficient with coming to the big ideas. Anyway, I did do some work a couple hours during the evenings after Zak went to bed this week. It worked out well. I honestly don't mind doing that, the only risk is that if there is some kind of escalation sitting in my email that I can't fix until the morning, it will ruin my sleep that evening. Anyway, that didn't happen this week.

I have what we call a "triad" next week. Where I talk about anything on my mind with my manager and my manager's manager. The interesting thing is that my manager suggested that I not even mention my less than full time. I thought I'd at least talk about how it's going, the challenges, etc...she said there is no reason to even mention it because I'm doing great. I understand what she's trying to do...but it's the first time in a while that I was reminded that there is a stigma with what I'm doing. A feeling of "maybe she's not as dedicated to the company as others", and she's trying to manage it. Or, maybe, it's just not as big a deal to others as it is to me.

Anyway, between MLK day, daycare opening late and closing early...it seemed Zak and I got to spend a lot of time together thsi week. We didn't do much, because of the weather. On Wednesday, we did go up to the rec center. We love playing shuffleboard together...and he's pretty good at it! We then went to check out the YMCA to see if we wanted to join. Zak was so cute on their tour. He walked into every room, looked around. Stood and listened. Anyway, when we were done, I had planned to head home for lunch, and Zak if we could go to Applebees. Sure, why not. Turns out, Wednesdays kids eat free. Good call Zak! We came home, and napped together. I could tell he was starting to get a bit sick. He slept for an hour in his bed, then for another two hours in my arms in the orange rocking chair. He's getting so big, he can barely fit with me, but we're adjusting. By Thursday, he had completely lost his voice, and found that very disturbing. I would tell him, it's ok, you are sick and sometimes you lose your voice when you are sick. He would try to yell, but it would only come out in a whisper "No! I'm not sick.." and then look at my strange like, what the heck is going on with my voice??

Thursday night was a bit of a tough night, and I was glad to have Friday off. One bonus to working part time, is that as long as he gets sick on the days I have off, it doesn't through too much of a wrench into things. So Friday we just stayed at home to recoup. He was much better, although again slept for 3 hours in my arms in the orange rocking chair...so he was obviously still recovering. In the morning, he was kind of lazily playing computer and such (which I didn't mind, because I didn't want him too active)...so Monika and I made some chicken enchilads and birthday cake for Kuba. I met Sara for lunch, which was great, then came home and held Zak while he napped. At 5 I met Kuba for some tennis, and then Dana, Matt and Rowan came over to hang out. All of this is just another great side effect of working part time...I have more time for myself and Kuba as well.

One cute thing Zak did this week, we went over to Dana and Matt's at some point, and he loves their cats. He was petting softly their black and white one...and he said "Mom, look, he's so beautiful!" and then the cat ran off, and Zak said "Aww, he's a little shy, like you Mom..." I was astounded. I asked him to say it again, just to make sure I heard him right...and he said the same thing. I have no idea if he even knows what shy is, and why he thinks I am (I am!)...cracked me up.

Day 72

Today was interesting. I allowed one meeting on the calndar, a president/CIO review that has been rescheduled so many times, I figured that I could be flexible given Babcia is here. I also agreed to go to 2 work Christmas parties that got rescheduled from before the holidays.

So I got up this morning and played for an hour or so with Zak. It was kind of a cute morning...He wanted to play with this mosaic magnent game that Auntie Ann bought him. Basically you put the pattern on a whiteboard, the pattern tells you what color magnets to put where, and when you are done, you have a pretty mosiac. Generally, my role is to put the magnets on the pattern, Zak's is to use his "diggers" to grab the magnets and piled them up for me. It actually takes a good half an hour to make one, so it's not a simple thing.

Anyway, this morning, he picked up the box, and it unfortunately wasn't closed properly, so it fell open and magnets fell everywhere. I didn't hear anything, but walked in and saw Zak just standing there in disbelief, looking at me like, "I didn't mean to do it...and I don't know what to do now." He was just standing there, holding the box, frozen. He's so cute. I told him not to worry, not his fault, and we picked up all the magnets.

Then he did something REALLY sweet...everytime we play this game, we kind of argue over what pattern to do. He always wants to do the fire truck or the train. I've done them so many times, that I always beg to do something else, and sometimes refuse to do the train or fire truck if I've just done them several times in a row. Well, we hadn't played with this in awhile, so I fully expectde to do one of his. He said, "Mommy, let's do the flower, because I know you like flowers." And then he came up and hugged me. It was so cute!!! I gave him the biggest hug.

Anyway, we did that, then I went for my meeting. It wasn't the best meeting, wasn't the worst. I learned something from it. The good news is the reason it wasn't the greatest had nothing to do with my working part time or not having enough time...I simply mis-understood one of the objectives. So for two of the objectives, it went great. :-)

After that, I went to one of the Christmas parties, worked in between the parties, and then decided to skip the second one in the end to come back and hang with Zak. I got home and he was napping, so I curled up beside him with personal laptop and read through a bit of the news. He woke up 15 minutes later, smiled, and asked if he could play on the computer. I said ok...but asked if he shouldn't go to the bathroom first since he'd been asleep for so long...he said "Yeah, that's a good idea." (First!) So he went to the restroom, and is now sitting next to me playing Dinosaur train. Let me tell you...touch screen computers are so great. He navigates himself, and talk about whatever is on the screen...right now we're learning about different dinosaur tails :-)

Anyway, I gave up 6 hours today, but felt it was sandwiched between some very quality Zak time...and next week is a 2 day week again! Spoiled!

Day 70 and 71

Ok, back to the grind! Last week was a bit more stressful than I would have liked for a first week back into the New Year...but I survived. Probably it just felt stressful after 2 weeks of waking up at 9, napping at 2, and then going to bed at 9 again :-)

Actually, I knew it would be busy, because there were a couple things I didn't get done before the holidays, and I knew they needed to get done for this week at work. I actually THOUGHT I had 3 days to get them done last week...but realized as we were flying back from Floriday that we actually had Monday off last week! I decided to somehow make it all work in 2 days...and did.

Luckily Babcia was here though...because Zak somehow got a 104 fever on Monday. He managed the whole vacation without any illness...and gets sick the day before we have to go back to work. Good boy :-) Seriously, if Babcia hadn't been here, my stress would have went through the roof. He was over it in a day, so it wasn't too bad.

I also got my annual review results last week. Looks like I'm still managing up to my standards :) I know in a recent post I was pretty critical of my results...but at least so far, that seems to be only my perception...so...SO FAR SO GOOD! It can be done (at least for 7 months!) - that was the amount of time in the last review cycle that I was on reduced work schedule. Let's see if I can keep it up. I'm very lucky that both my new and old bosses are so supportive.

I'll blog about one cute thing from Zak from last week...much of the rest of the time together was us trying to get him feeling better, and unpacking, cleaning up, etc from the vacation. On Tuesday he was still running a 104 fever when we didn't give him medicine...so I worked from home just in case Babcia needed any help or he got worse. At first, I planned to go into the office...he was very panciky about that (we'd been together for 15 days!)...and he was crying that he didn't want me to go. I told him I WANTED to go, I like working...and besides, I need to make some more money so we can go on another great vacation. He said "Oh, you need to make money? Because we're all out of money?" I explained we weren't completely out, but I need to make sure we don't run out. About 30 minutes later, when I decided to work at home, I told him I was going to work down in the basement in case he needed me, and I'd come up for lunch. He said "Oh, because there is money in the basement?" LOL. I told him no, but I can work from there and then I will get paid for it.

About 2 hours later, he decided he wanted to come down and see me. He came down and on his way down, I hear him shouting "Mommy! Do you have your money yet?"

At about 4 o'clock, FedEx drops off a package...as I'm opening it, Zak says, "I hope its some money for us Mommy!" I hoped so too!

Oh, the other thing - I was napping by him on Monday when he was sick...I woke up to him trying to syringe out my nose. :-P